Olúwafèyíṣarámi

GHOST In circles, life revolves Round and right back Bigger and more complicated. Invisible, I take notes. The observer, shrinking beneath my skin, Frozen under my smiling mask. A ghost, Sweeping in the wind. I glide. Moving across the room. Right here, again Blowing you kisses, Screaming to be heard, Hoping to be thawed, Yearning to be seen. Yet, I remain me. The secret by your side.

I've often wondered how I would feel if I just caught a glimpse of you. I always wondered how awkward it would be or if I will just be sad or moody. I was amazed how wrong I was. Fine, it was awkward at first. But I was happy. It was nice to see you. I even still had some flip-flops in my tummy for a few seconds or minutes... But it quieted down after a while. I thought I would be mad. Mad at you or mad at myself for whatever reason but I'm so relieved that there was absolutely none of that to deal with. All that remains is a peace from within, knowing that I did the right thing. Secretly, I admire your stance; and I'm impressed at the quietness of the storm within. Still, I hope I made it a lot easier for you to breathe. Irrespective of the way things are, my stand and me remain the same. Nothing's changed. Not even what I feel. It all remains untouched by the whole drama...I am surprised. There's a peace that surpasses all understanding. Now I have a glimpse...

You have no idea where I'm coming from Or how my journey has been. Hell, you damn well have no right to judge me Cos you do not know me. Feel free to blow your self righteous trumpet. But for some of us, there's absolutely nothing left Nothing to boast about but how broken it has left us. And how the brokenness has brought me here. I'm a testimony and I know it Without proof, there's much more.... A baggage of sorts yet to know about me. Still, the most important things, stay pending. Breaking rules just to make you see To understand the imperfection that lies beneath the skin. And the brave-front shield. A defence against the need to be covered. A smokescreen. Hiding the essentials way beneath the shroud. What do you see when you look at me? Brokenness or the beauty of it? Can you stomach seeing these processes? Or even allow it break your heart enough to love me? Will you take my hand and walk with me? Clearly not. So, if this is not des...

Living in reality Not having to contend with unnecessary warm pleasantries With being cordial or perfect, suffering while smiling... Just be u Not trying so hatd to impress Having noticeable flaws Having weaknesses Being imperfect yet striving to be Is the perfection that makes u human. Your flaws are there, tolerated or just ignored They could be irritating or simply interesting Either way, it doesn't really matter. Someone loves u just the way u are. U are all that really matters. Love thyself!