Olúwafèyíṣarámi

I have really few words to say. You know, everything around here in this company speaks to me To me, it is an Expression of the kingdom. And as we know, the kingdom is not just where it is, it advances through the ages. This is one of the strategies of progression. I am not here to preach But to affirm that the steps the company has taken/is taking is in the right direction. I know this cos I have seen it. We have done well, no matter how harsh it seems. But that's the beauty of life and progression. We make some friends, we lose some, In the end all of that will give us the distinction that makes each person who they are. I don't know how many people have seen the movie, The Matrix. I see this organization as the Nebuchadnezzar ship Which was the ship with the highest priority. You must have gone through different phases to be on that ship. You must meet certain criteria or specifications to be allowed to be onboard that ship You know why? Because you will...

I throw my hands in the air I break free Flying high across the uncharted Seeing the unseen Writing the unwritten. Oh what joy, oh what wonder. The yet unspoken coming alive before my very eyes! My center taking shape, I see me. Jack! What is your center? Why is it scary to be a guardian? I never knew it would be this much of a struggle A war between my emotions and I. I suddenly try to speak objectively when all of me is subjective. I am a mess not knowing how to act when shown a little affection the exact replica of the finger I point at you. I am just a mirror of you. A mangled mess, beneath the shiny dross. Conspicuous and attractive, yet hollow. Is it about being seen, heard or approved? I am that Jack Frost Whom I have referenced but never seen. It is me, coming out of my skin Blossoming into this version of me It is no longer my version of events. It is me, finding my center. It no longer matters that no one sees. You sent me. You see. You validat...

I'm free, so free I'm free! I'm singing on and jumping high Cos I'm free Spring to my steps Dance to my feet I'm free, so free. I'm free. All that was needed was a reason Even a stupid one. We found it And you'll never know what was at stake Never miss what you didn't have I bow in peace. I'm free! Fly, Feyisarami. Fly!!

Well deserved, a slap on the right cheek. For refusing to listen to the voice of wisdom. Not everyone wants truth. Not everyone loves love. Not everyone talks so you can respond. I relearned this again today. Everyone has their own choices to make. And i can't Love them more than they love themselves. I have to respect that. It's the boundaries of definition. If anything, it's easy to overwrite everything love has been With one random flop. You easily hold on to the randomest words and skip the entire statement altogether. Just to justify you and yours. But you are exactly what you hate. You just don't want to see it. But it's not my place to say. You requested for a friend, not a judge. You set up boundaries And built your walls so high No one can reach it. But It's not all about you. Everyone has their limits And everything had its own time. You've gotta be willing to look beyond just you. You've gotta be ready to care about ot...

Baba mo wa si waju re, mo wa juba Tokan tokan ni mo wa Niwaju re, Eledumare oba mi, I lift my hands to you. Take all of me Leave nothing untended. Let your hand, Olowogbogboro reach deep And rearrange all that you can use, let life speak. Let the excesses fall away, dead. Make me a new being, leaving the quarry approaching the temple. L'ariwo ba tan! The silence of the temple!! Fi owo re kan mi ki n le ri o, To see you within the whirlwind, Hear your roar above the noise, Know the colour you are within the chaotic mess. Take all of me Leave nothing untended. Let your hand, Olowogbogboro reach deep And rearrange all that you can use, let life speak. Let the excesses fall away, dead. Make me a new being, leaving the quarry approaching the temple. L'ariwo ba tan! The silence of the temple!!

First time I caught a glimpse of you, I was walking down the corridor Of the quiet space And I heard voices up ahead and there you were. Brilliant. Vast. Well spoken. The first time I saw you, At the bus stop just got down from the BRT, After a long and awkward session on the bus. We stood, talking in front of the big grocery store at the bus stop,  And I saw, You. You..  Bright, Beautiful and Simple. Your light buried under lots of dross, Defined by the tags others gave you. Your beauty hidden with 'bragado', A child screaming in silence to be loved. Scared yet scarred. With open arms, I received you as you reminded me of me As usual, I revealed to you a side of me. It was a gift, a deposit...of something beyond time. But because you didn't know better, you couldn't just accept the gift, You could not see the gift to be accepted. But, time is short. Wisdom calls from the highest heights Can you hear her? Will you respond to love? I have call...

One drama on top of the other Back to back No time to inhale. I haven't gotten myself since May. And haven't dared to write since June.... No words, no song, no smiles, no tears. Just chaotic silence. Finally, I soar free I sail beyond the tides. My heart is glad I feel right for the first time in ages. I feel in tune with you. My love knows no bounds. I am truly grateful for these experiences.

Indepth reflection Taking stock of events.... December....through June. Finding my areas of deviation And hoping for restoration. All I want to do is run and hide Away from you, from your words From your face. I laid my heart out, vulnerable; bare. A first of so many long years. I had hoped for something different, mature. A reason to allow someone else be strong for me. Rather than do it all on my own, as always. Now I laugh. How wrong. How stupid. How near impossible. I look back on last night's convo And I see for the first time. It was all wind. After six long months of priming, May was just a dream; a fantasy of some sort. A stillborn... I guess I wished you to be real. Hoped for some miracle in you. But I guess you will tell the same tale. It was never what you intended. So, I pack up bags that were never packed. I cry with the rains of June, Shedding buckets like floods in the streets, The rest of my stuff.... Me, shattered bits of glass. Th...

Shattered bits of glass, I may be; Unexpected, you cut way deeper than ever was reached. That's how much I dared to unveil. You may never understand, But you touched the deepest parts and cut it. Still in the midst of it all,  There's nothing left to fear. I think I've seen it all in my short years. Yet, I bounce back with my scars, healed... And.....Forgiveness smiles through lessons learnt. Love bubbles on... Deep and wide; unguarded and unassuming. Like the song in my heart. Oh, I will sing for love. Hear me! I will not shrink back from being me. But all 'unnecessities' must go. I will love again, and again. And forgive as many times as I can. Love bubbles on in my heart for you. And because of you, I find time for this again. I write a new song. Nothing lost, nothing missing. Every mess comes together  Into one beautiful message. I write a new song.

Life is short And feelings are too deep to be based on momentary things. I have learnt in my short years on earth That those things that are worth it And those things that make you happy to be alive May not always make you smile It may even get you angry And hurt you time and again But will always warm your heart when you look beyond the surface. It makes your heart beat....an abundant assurance of love Even when it’s all blue. It may not seemingly make you happy today Or even make sense right now. It may come with its own fears But in the overall picture, It is just what it is, …. WORTH IT. I count those things, my blessings... My kids, My family, my friends.....name them All those things that define who I am (definitely not something seen) All those things that when taken away, are still a major part of me I carry their essence in the quality of my life. I celebrate those things that make my heart beat. You are worth it. `

I see the pattern. My entire journey is so that I can see this. It is a war. A battle of systems. I see the ex. Who wants counsel and intersession yet is reluctant to pay the price. I see the brt guy, Who will willingly pay the price but his motives will make him demand a return. I see the sex guy Who will rather stay unyielding until someone else clears the path. I see the trainer Who wants what he wants and on his own terms, unbowing. I see the guitarist Who will choose to remember only memories that appeal to the heart I see the brother. Who wants what he wants the way he wants it. Everyone wants to eat their cake and yet have it. They propose, I accept on a condition…and all hell breaks lose. Not one is willing to pay the price for the treasure. Yet they want the treasure. There is no difference. Lesson is, what you want you must be ready to die for… To me, I must see how difficult or near impossible it is to break a heart set on i...

The isolated beach helped clear my mind and hear you right. Helped calm my anger and help me focus. Reminded me of what it is to have a life without you And to appreciate the gift of life. The deep blue sea, the palm trees that line the shore... I sit at the foot of one of the palm trees In the shadow of the fronds I sit staring at at the ocean, with tears streaming down my face What did I do wrong? Why do I open myself so wide and get hurt so deep? I have a lot on my mind and do not know which hurts the deepest. I am just like the raging waters, wild but confined by its shores. Colorful, but constrained by light. I search deep within and table my heart, laying it all bare Leaving nothing uncovered You Implying that I am a fraud hurts way deeper than any cursed word you could spit That's what cuts.....because I loved you. And would have interceded without your asking... But you reminded me just today that if I was sent, they should have told me that we all ...

Had a fabulous holiday. The beach house was dope. Away from the noise, my troubles and craziness. Easter did me well. Helped balm my broken heart. And put together my broken spirit. Playing with Perez Opened my eyes to the colors of love inside of me It was fun pouring my love into all that I love. I didn't even know I had missed cooking that much. I cooked, I read, I danced, I sang my heart out, I ran, I cried... But more so, I laughed. And I opened myself up to the love around me. ToluSanmi, I am blessed to have you. I have been refreshed by your love And in your house, I found peace to my troubled heart. The beach's healing powers was not wasted on me either. The waters and me became one, along with the blue skies and the white sands of the shore. How I enjoyed my Easter!

You took the pride in me And broke it to bits You turned all my questions to naught Reminding me of my journey thus far. The reason for leading me out first From the matrix Is so that those still in the matrix can find their way out. All you need is one man, a part for the whole. Oh what strategy. The work of engrafting is being done. For your work's sake. Pride was in me. Blindingly distracting me from the goal I swerved off course And slipped over my vomit. I totally forgot about mercy. I disregarded faith. And logic set in. I became a judge by the seeing of these eyes. Though my mind may dwell on logical reasoning, But my heart is stayed on you. You looked into my heart and had mercy on my ignorance. And set me free from me. Now I see. Today, I know. The wickedness in me revealed. The pride in me unveiled. My doubts are alleviated Now, i can be true. True to the words you spoke to me when I was under. Mercy... Mer...

Long overdue. On the waiting list too long. Now it's here. I'm so happy I didn't even stop to consider my outfit I broke all laws And cajoled the authorities, Just to be with you today. In love Deliriously happy.... I grin on,stupidly and without reason A hope of what's to come. Still mulling on that, The bees come, buzzing their way through. The alfa, the artist, the schoolboy. All sang one horrid song of distraction But my soul be too damn happy to respond. I stood. Walked. Sat. My eyes focused on just one thing. You. I'm here, dancing in the rain Naked. No where to hide. This is me. All of me. I've come to bare all Once again, to you. Mobius Agenda...that's my goal. I flap. I hop.  I bow. Just to learn deeper of you. To become fitting for you. To learn to love you, as you've loved me. You alone. I am here with you. Let us dance,my love Unhindered, Naked and happy Let us make a new song, A rhythm for two. T...

I'll miss you. And all the craziness of you. But truth is I'm not what u want. I am what you need I know you feel the attraction Though you think I'm crazy. But there's that urge to quench your thirst. And unleash the beast in you. I feel it too. So let's wait until that is established. Until you crave me like your next breath. Until you're desperate for the most important thing. Until you're ready to live... Or ready to die. As I am.

I know I said this And did that And I know that I did what I should As the Lord asked of me But the human in me struggles And my emotions are a raging mess Oh heart, quiet down. Be still... Yet my heart is stayed on you. I keep checking to read from you And I'm not over your display picture. The attraction I feel is vivid and sharp, And definitely not something I'm used to, If at all, maybe twice.... And this is one of them... Yet you messed up and the password changed. Your access is denied. I was scared. But that was then. If the hold wasn't broken I'd have picked fights just to run away from this feeling. Or be thrown into another whirlwind of trouble. But I am grateful you are a "messer upper" Now I'm free to fly. Liberated, I see the wiles. My heart dances to new rhythm And a new tag line emerges Unlicensed users not welcome. Access denied.

Excited about getting trained outside the office premises I hopped home. And then a message. A declaration of your feelings.  My trainer. Hidden behind your accent and glasses A father, 3 times over Devoted. Doing all to give the best standard of living to his family... Pouring himself into new innovative ideas... A hard lover. Possesively sweet. You allowed me strip you with my questions  And let me into your world. And one glimpse and I'm hooked. I see in you, me. More than I care to admit. A me that I ran away from. One possibility of who I could become. You allowed me feel your pain and struggles Yet you refused to believe that there was more. You failed to trust that there could be a way beyond your way  You refused a glimpse into my world.  A proposal. A call A mistress? Your woman?  Or a friend who will be true Even through the different phases of life. The cards are on the table. Mere words won't do...

A family friend from childhood A friendship that was forged at youth camp And since then,managed to stay in touch. And then comes the twist Out of the blue, a proposal. A 2 weeks friends with benefit spree A time to test each other's sexual prowess. My gain? New knowledge on styles and some jewelry to boot. I laugh. The die was cast. Conditions were raised and demands made. And the proposal faded as passing wind. The price for the proposal couldn't be met. The drama continues And the more was laid on the table And you backed down and made decisions to remain as you are. Counting cost, logical reasoning and a PhD in view was enough. The established is structured and seen to work While the unknown is a risk. You pitch your tent on the towers of the known Proudly looking down at the folly of treading an emerging path. The matrix has you. Firm in its paws.

It's a wonderful morning Stuck on the BRT,many thanks to traffic Irritation and agitation everywhere To get to our different destinations And you saw me. On the annoying morning queue Waiting with my ticket to board And there you were waiting familiarly Smile on your face Urging me to come on in Confused, introduction was done.... And we talked. Friendship budded. You found there was more You took the red pill And entered the ship... But along the lines, It seemed it was never for the more. It was always about the girl. You wanted to have me...without paying the price. Confusion sets in. Ego enters the equation And the friendship becomes sour All that is left is your opinion about everything And nothing about life. Life just seeped out of it all Leaving a carcass of a relationship An obsession . You seem satisfied To catch just a whig of my perfume Or to steal a glance when I walk by in the morning. Or just to hear me laugh and say a hearty good m...

You are on a journey And all the drama around you Are all pointers to this work Pay attention. .. See and learn There's always something new to learn. Each person, each uniqueness is a speaking It is speaking to me.... Drawing the patterns in my life Building structures Knowing the colours The tools needed for construction The required skills The drama is a means to prepare me For the work to come I have to see I have to learn I have to live To be. To handle.  To use. To couple. To give.

Humbled. Tired. Woke up to the same damn words, The same tune that has been on for years. The same old thing. Making it all about here and now. Never striving for a bigger picture. And with all that is in me, I reject that spirit of old. I scream,  NO MORE! Unlike last year With the spring in my feet I feel a sobberness descend A firmness and solidness A no-nonesense stance. That screams NO MORE!! I am humbled. Grateful, more so. But today, I climb on all things old And use them as a stairway for the new. No holds. No ties. I break from the subtlety of settling for less. I scream no more!!! It is either his way or his way. A new work has started. I feel it in my bones, The responsibility of it all. I'm guessing this is what a cloak feels like Damn heavy if you ask me. But assuringly significant. Defining. Giving identities. Happy Birthday to me. I have left Trash for LAWMA. I can't be stained. The cycle is complete! Cheers!

I am  not any different from you. You say I should write my story. I also cannot wait to read yours. How does a beautiful soul get mangled in so much filth? How does gold get shrouded in so much impurity? How does a prince forget his roots and eat with pigs? That is our story. Isn't it? But no matter how far gone you are.... When you catch a glimpse of the real you, No matter how unbelievable it seems, Everything is worth dropping to explore that route. The worst that will be is to be where you are right now... But what if there actually is that better? It does not have to make any logical sense. It is what it is. No you do not think you deserve it... But love, true love is far from logic. It is full of mercy; a gift. Not wage. It is what it is. I have been here before I am here now. I love hard. I always will. I love you. But the story must go on....

I lie here, missing you. Not what you think, but what I have seen you are, Not your voice, but the one within. I have seen what you are capable of becoming. Yet, I see your struggles within, beneath Your child-like but rooted ways. Wondering how far gone you are on your story I worry what you have told your kids And how your wife is taking all this. I wait. Hoping you will reach out. Wishing your broken heart was torched. With a new reason for life rather than mere living. A reason to receive love, pure. Oh fabulous soul, Wonderful yet wandering heart, Why are you afraid of hurting a head that will heal? Why are you so afraid to break it for answers? What keeps you bound from breaking free? Why do you hide? Where have you gone? What are you doing? I look for you but you seem to have vanished. Why do you run farther? Come to me, Run fast toward wisdom. Seek out the light. Let life guide you. Hear my voice, be my friend, my love. See me. Unravel me. Hold ...