Olúwafèyíṣarámi

I have long asked questions and wondered at the many things that I see on the earth. Deep inside me, there is a longing for something much more; far much more than what my parents ever had; far more... Far much more than what I see all around… But ask me what it was I was aiming for at the time and I had no words to explain… I just knew there was something in me that needed to be satisfied…something in me yearned for something more...i just couldn’t be satisfied. The hole was just too deep. And no matter what I did or how I did it or how deep I went, it just was never enough. I could get drunk, get high, I could have sex all day and all night and the void wouldn’t shift one bit. I would change the persons and environment and come up with creative innovations and expend so much energy just to get some relief and fulfilment. Yes the relief came…a temporary release…that returns almost immediately. This was me. But what was it I lacked? I asked. And I sobbed into my pillow ...

Look in the mirror. What do you see? Do you see the beauty you have become? Look into the half full jug (of water). What do you see? Do you see a half-filled jug or a half empty one? What do you live for? What pursues you? What nags at your mind? What is that thing that haunts you but you never want to think about? What is that one thing you will rather drown with other noises but if need be, you package it well in presentation. And at the end, still feel like a fraud, deep down yet trying to soothe your wounded being. Easily missed; almost too conspicuous for comfort; A loud ovation and a warm and giving heart … You never can do things half-way. Rather, your back will be bent until you have it all done. You work hard at not letting yourself and those around you down…you never set your standard below those high expectations. And it does work for you….and it has become you. Everyone knows and refer to you in that regard. It is you. You enter into a place and the whole p...