Olúwafèyíṣarámi

Here I go again, chasing after the wind. I seem to forget that some things matter and some others just don't. Trying to stay friends with an ex may seem like a very grown up thing to do but its not always like that. I stay up sometimes actuaLly expecting some miracle to happen. Some magic that will make us talk like humans and will make us laugh at our stupidity but all I we do is stay at logger heads. Many people said to give it time but its been almost 2yrs and it seems that what made up split has refused to move from the centre.... They say love does this and does that but truth is, its just what it is. It never puts food on the table nor makes a home. It is just what it is in this realm...a four letter word. A word. Today,a thought formed in my head. I wondered why it was so annoying to watch my ex walk down the road with some girl with starry eyes or laugh at the silly jokes someone makes when all we do is fight. It actually feels like a punch in my gut literally. Now I...

me and my heart again I have never seen myself as good enough I always feel there is something lacking Something yet to be attained A part of me yet to be fixed. In spite of all that I have got I dare to ask for more But it leaves me feeling ungrateful for the plenty I already have am not sure I deserve.. Yet with all of that, it was easy to be pleasant Cos I had lost my hope in many things. I believed in many lies and It was an easier route from getting hurt. Now, I dare to hope Now I dare to want more than I ever thot I could have And now, I dare to be burnt than I ever was before. It has started... I am hurting but at least I feel... I feel love One so much so it's ripping me apart Still, I am assured that This is just the beginning...

I have been mad and angry for a while at almost everything especially you. But I just realised that thr was a time I was accused of being indifferent to issues that should hurt me. Now that's a contrast. Today I realise that there may seem to be many things to be mad about but truth is whatever I may be going thru is not man related. Irrespective of the person, it is all an experience he is taking me thru for my good. Whoever I have hurt or have been used as his learning curve, as long as he is chosen of the lord, it is God working it in him to be better thru me. Whether or not I am thr, he will device a way to make that experience happen. So, Feyi, snap out of it and stop feeling guilty. It is unnecessary. U have been a learning curve just as others r ur learning curve. See who u have become thru that experience and be grateful for it. I am a son with lots of scars to show for it...and I know I will yet bear more...I just pray for the capacity to bear it all. for I know that d d...