Olúwafèyíṣarámi

I have never seen myself as good enough I always feel there is something lacking Something yet to be attained A part of me yet to be fixed. In spite of all that I have got I dare to ask for more But it leaves me feeling ungrateful for the plenty I already have. Yet with all of that, it was easy to be pleasant Cos I had lost my hope in many things. I believed in many lies and It was an easier route from getting hurt. Now, I dare to hope Now I dare to want more than I ever thot I could have And now, I dare to be burnt than I ever was before. It has started... I am hurting but at least I feel I feel love but it's ripping me apart Still, I am assured that This is just the beginning...

I sit in the field of an old school watching the life around me. The brownish green leaves individually moving to different music,the individual branches in turn dance to a different tune while the main trunk bows and sways to its own song.the sky is so bright and the sun shines down.everything around me looks peaceful but then I know I have to return to the chaos of my home. Who do I tell? What do I say? How much do I even know? The system that I frowned and walked away from years ago has come to haunt me. It was easy walking out then because you tell yourself that you really have nothing to lose.when serving God becomes more of a burden of rules than a convinction and indwelling of the spirit, there is a problem. For me,it was never about anyone but me and my God. He speaks continually and I try to follow. Now, there is a major problem. The same cycle again and this time, the people I love so much and call brothers and sisters are giving me reasons to re-think if they ever were ...

It is easy to point fingers and rate success by what we see with our eyes. Still it doesn’t mean that is the entirety of what it entails. let us take a look at the life of the children of Jacob. Joseph was the good child> he was the one who was sold; he didn’t sleep with his master's wife, he was good to the letter according to the record in the books. Although the blessing was given to joseph, Judah prevailed over his brothers. Judah got the inheritance.   "Winning is not for him who runs the race. It is for he who has the marking scheme (principle)"- feyi phillips   This brings me to my story. For some time now I have had every reason to look into my life closely and the one constant thing is the fact that I have never had any reason to feel that I belonged anywhere. Not at home, not in school, not within cliques; something was always just amiss. And I was always at that point where I wondered at how strange I was right before the tide changes course. I wond...

finally, we have made up. finally, my voice reached you. i may be a lot of things but i am glad you have been able to see beyond all that my facade may seem real to most but to you those tiny things i show are just my way of making you see my weaknesses,vulnerability and imperfections which from afar, you never will see. thank you for opening your heart you are indeed my friend. thanks for believing in me. i believe in all that you could be and i believe in all that we would be. i do love you, kay.

it is so damn hard trying it is even harder expressing. my love to you my friend in my heart is invaluable,of inestimable value but to you, the love is greener on the other side is that why you think you do not mean as much to me? i reveal my heart and soul to you but you would rather settle for the body. you forget that he who has the heart, has it all. my love to you my friend is a choice beyond choice i believe in you and choose to make the most of this Eden so it hurts so much after doing so much to be asked 'what did you do?' i shake my fist in rage at you for from my haven i reached out to take only you with me and couldn't be bothered if it wasn't as safe. i care what you think always and though i do not want us to fight,just being your friend excites me so much so that i feel again like a kid not afraid to leap, fall or cry. my love to you my friend is unique, uncommon yet you probably will never know because my way of expressing is not ...

today i saw a butterfly. and i remember the good old days, the few overwhelmingly happy times i remember.me and my cousins,every holiday will camp at our grandparents and will take long walks during the evenings.we run into the large field just across the road and run in search of butterflies and ladybugs. each butterfly had its own unique beauty.none was exactly the same as the other and neither was any of the bugs exactly the same as the other. it was always wonderful to breathe in the field and feel the last bit of the sun before it sets in.and then, it hit me that i didn't enjoy these moments more even though i cherish and relish them so much. i cannot count my happy moments without the moments spent with you. forgiveness is the power you hold in your hands to move beyond the past into the future; it gives the strength to wholesomeness. this note is to my friend who means so much to me but always thinks that i think that all is a game to me and that the ball is in someone...

I just learnt today one great thing. I am not perfect and even though this is not a new revelation of myself, I realize that I still think within me to prove myself by being the best of me to people and hoping not to mess up at all. But guess what? these imperfections make us who we are, give us our flavours, make us stronger by revealing these flaws to us. I may have offended my friend or messed up big time but the truth is only a perfect person is entitled to a perfect friendship or anything perfect for that matter. I am the most imperfect person you can get but that doesn't mean I am less true or give myself less to the friendship.I have been true.I am true. And so is all that is me.if I can choose from my deep recesses to accept you and make you my friend, even with all your imperfections, then I will not expect anything less of you. We strive to get better and though I hope for a better you, how better to know ourselves if we do not go through these processes? We go through p...

Misery calls unto misery and press in on every side; my tongue has lost its taste for food and my eyes overflow with tears. My questions smother me, piling up unanswered. I wait for some miracle. I trust your hand to uphold me; I have seen the mighty fall and lord, only by your mercies am I even here. How then can I dare say that I choose by myself to stand, is it not your grace holding me? Even when all go according to my own plans, can I then be offended at you? In my craziest moments, did u not still embrace me? How then would I dare take forgranted this love? By your mercy, o lord, save me. Teach me how to be renewed. Teach me your ways and plant my feet on the ancient paths. Take me to your way. Make me and your will ONE.

It is said to be easy to lie to oneself   And easier to swim along d tides of denial   One may even build a haven   Within the confines of one's beliefs   BUT we know that   Truth will always find a way   And Love,the trophy.

Even if the men of God go blind And the wise men speak one voice of great untruth; Even when we think we do outsmart the prophets, Or we belittle their anointing to their weaknesses; God sees,He knows And all that He knew outside of time He will reveal here in a matter of time... The curtains will fall Most definitely the drama will be over Then we all will see Those things that will survive stay unshakable The truth cannot be helped. We will see as it all is. Stay tuned... The drama is yet on.

No matter how much a fish enjoys time here on land   Is crowned queen and showered with all its riches;   She still will   Most definitely   Out of necessity   And in time,   Return to her domot.   The water must tug at her heart.   You can so much as adorn a pig   Clothe him and sit him with princes   Elevate his status amongst men   It all will cease to make sense   With time;   He will   Most definitely   Out of a necessity;   Grunt on till he finds his domot.   The sty will always call.

The seasons for conversations Av long wanned. The beauty of friendship now sour And the intelligence of shared words Diffused to tears. U've changed Or maybe i live in a fool's world Unstable, u keep blowing hot and cold A clear indicator of the falsehood of our four years Your dream, my reality? both av become one broken twist. And its too late to wish Too late to gather even the crumbs left for dogs. Too far gone to seduce a lie Too far a memory to conjure. And yet all d inbetweeners remain... it is all gone; over; dead As whispers in the wind.

I believe in kisses. They always have a story to tell; Taste defines a kiss. Your buds respond to each kiss As a reflection of the depth anticipated Ever before the first intimate encounter. I believe in kisses. They always have a story to tell; They always have a story to tell; Every kiss means something Some just mean more than others.

WHEN YOU SLEEP You are some times distant Like the MTN Marathon Far at the beginning But close in the end You stay entwined In the thick bush of your hair At unexpected seasons you flip And fly with the flock of birds Your mouth is speaking The gospel in Psalms And secrets in Revelations Your eyes hide a pirate chest of words Tucked safely in the deep waters of your being But when you sleep . . . Everything ceases to be The race is tortoise The forest is bare The birds at nest The coast is clear.  KM Quadri

new!!! Present day Akinola and Dele were in Dele’s car- blasting the stereo with the windows tightly wound up, showing that the air-conditioner was on- on their way to school. They drove into the school compound and the car was just going round the bend to the car park when Akinola caught sight of Susan, walking with her head bowed as usual. She looked deep in thought.       Once the car was properly parked, akin leapt out, said his goodbyes and went after Susan.  Dele had a good laugh at his friend as he watched him leave. “He is learning faster than I thought.” He thought chuckling to himself.      Akin caught sight of Susan just around a bend, walking with her head bowed. He ran. He was by her side in a matter of minutes. "hi." he said trying to catch his breath and holding her left elbow at the same time to slow her pace down a notch. Unfortunately, that action only managed to startle her out of her wits....

clothed in every shade of color and adorned in only the wrappers befitting to a bride every style, every texture, every hue to wring out the perfection in you... ... but our hands now, are tied; you are best left naked; untouched; and in jail, untried; as a stillborn, your birth never saw the light of day. dead; on that tearful sunny day three years ago. phabrique.

... the barren black desert spread wide before me the ocean of sand swallows me in its expanse,i squint yet i still am, the barren. let those who see spread their hem to hang me on, till i conceive a lamp for my stand. give me water in the desert; as u have done before, so let mine be let the barren be with child give me a lamp for my stand. phabrique.  

It is not a game Nor a fluke It is called symbiosis The entwinement of our spirits Lost in the peculiarity of our being Which we must die to what we own And live in the ordinary Just to be accepted by walking eyes And talking ears. phabrique.