Olúwafèyíṣarámi

I have never seen myself as good enough I always feel there is something lacking Something yet to be attained A part of me yet to be fixed. In spite of all that I have got I dare to ask for more But it leaves me feeling ungrateful for the plenty I already have. Yet with all of that, it was easy to be pleasant Cos I had lost my hope in many things. I believed in many lies and It was an easier route from getting hurt. Now, I dare to hope Now I dare to want more than I ever thot I could have And now, I dare to be burnt than I ever was before. It has started... I am hurting but at least I feel I feel love but it's ripping me apart Still, I am assured that This is just the beginning...

I sit in the field of an old school watching the life around me. The brownish green leaves individually moving to different music,the individual branches in turn dance to a different tune while the main trunk bows and sways to its own song.the sky is so bright and the sun shines down.everything around me looks peaceful but then I know I have to return to the chaos of my home. Who do I tell? What do I say? How much do I even know? The system that I frowned and walked away from years ago has come to haunt me. It was easy walking out then because you tell yourself that you really have nothing to lose.when serving God becomes more of a burden of rules than a convinction and indwelling of the spirit, there is a problem. For me,it was never about anyone but me and my God. He speaks continually and I try to follow. Now, there is a major problem. The same cycle again and this time, the people I love so much and call brothers and sisters are giving me reasons to re-think if they ever were ...

It is easy to point fingers and rate success by what we see with our eyes. Still it doesn’t mean that is the entirety of what it entails. let us take a look at the life of the children of Jacob. Joseph was the good child> he was the one who was sold; he didn’t sleep with his master's wife, he was good to the letter according to the record in the books. Although the blessing was given to joseph, Judah prevailed over his brothers. Judah got the inheritance.   "Winning is not for him who runs the race. It is for he who has the marking scheme (principle)"- feyi phillips   This brings me to my story. For some time now I have had every reason to look into my life closely and the one constant thing is the fact that I have never had any reason to feel that I belonged anywhere. Not at home, not in school, not within cliques; something was always just amiss. And I was always at that point where I wondered at how strange I was right before the tide changes course. I wond...