don't be fooled!

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Don't be fooled by the mask I wear. If only wishes were horses,Lord alone knows how far I would have ridden and definitely not solo. I fly solo only because you don't have the guts to ride with me. Laughing. Or maybe its just me afraid to make a fool of me all over again. Don't be fooled by my nonchallance. I may seem too quick to dismiss things but that's only because its safer to replay and savour it when I'm all alone without your eyes taking it all in. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy being with you and watching your eyes crinkle on the sides when you laugh but its a terrain all to familiar. Too much so that I'm afraid to be the fool. Don't be fooled that I'm a fool. Maybe I am but I'm no one's fool but mine. In spite of my trying not to be a fool, I still may not have been able to contain it enough not to be all over you. Even then, that don't make me your fool, dog. I may love you a little wee too much but I aint gonna breakdown unless I know you here are gonna fight for me. There's too much shit going on and I just need that firmness and "solidness". Don't be fooled. I do. Though its all cloudy but soon, it will all blow over. If only you feel the same, you will stick around and ride with me.. You know just what to do if you really want the same. Not in many words,I'm a whole lot of complication I wish u could make simple. Interestingly, I want you to. Please don't be fooled. I hardly sleep. Like I can't sleep right now. But I have you on my mind. and when you are right here, its easier to sleep but almost too good to be true. So my thoughts get the better of me cos all I wonder is how I got here. I'm not complaining yet I wish for so much more. Knowing it may not be mine keeps me in check. Just choose already. And let me know my fate. I may laugh. I may smile. But don't be fooled. You are and will always be much more than a friend to me. Nothing can change what you mean to me. Alone on my bed, I cry out at the frustrations of the situation. Wish you were here. Wish it was simple. Wish everything else didn't matter. But don't be fooled. It is but for a while. In a little while, such a time will come where it all wouldn't matter. But when that time comes, I will like to be on you-team. Its a wish. Just a wish in my heart.

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