questions we should answer

These are the questions that plague my mind as i sit on my bed, facing the window. I look back at my friends, these ones that are closer to me than family; I realize that many of our decisions have been made out of reaction to something done to the self. an offense that has borne many fruits. pride...and then, we totally forget about order, even though we preach it and point to it.

We have fought these wars for so long and have screamed these words so loud that we cannot deny that we never heard them. but why really do we fight? why have these fights gone on for so long? why do we have something to say about what you did, say or didn't do to 'me'? why should it not be done to u? if really i claim to understand that these are tests to mould me into maturity or else screen me out as a babe, then why the wars? who really are we fighting with? with whom do i contend?

All we want and everything we have claimed to be our utmost desire is that this whole thing be pushed further into darkness that even those areas flooded with our light may be claimed for our God. so where do i come into the picture? where does self come into the picture of the divine? that is the war. that is the war within that has expressed itself in the wars without.

These fights i fight with you, my brothers and sisters, is not one that has to do with myself or how it pays me. No. my fight is that all that we have heard does not stay in the realm of the ears but that it reaches our minds and we can live by them till it becomes our way of life. i fight that these things that we have heard and stood against does not eventually stand against us in these tests.

Where the test will be: those things that you heard or were spoken to you at the very beginning, how true have you been to it? how have you fought for it? if you believe in it as much as you claim, what are you doing to bring it to manifestation? if you die now, will you die facing that word?