Absorbed Paranoia

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I thought I would go bunkers
Is this obsession or just plain insanity?
I miss you immediately I leave you.
I look forward to seeing or hearing from you.
You fill my thoughts...
And as though that wasn't enough,
Jealousy joined the gang.
And then paranoia.
This my one heart  overwhelmed with these many strange emotions.
Please where did I get them from?
I could just rip out my heart and then be at peace.

If I avoid you, would all this go away?
But you wouldn't let me.
If I close my eyes, will I wake up and be back to the very junction that brought us together?
If I withdraw and protect myself, would the impact reduce or will I just be able to mask my feelings better?
I feel like such a fool.

I see what's going on here.
It took a weekend to see straight.
A new feather added to my cap.
A new experience...
This is not me.
It is me having a taste of what you're being healed from.
And understanding it...
But how do I get out of all of this?

Is this what it means to be a high priest?
Colored by the infirmities of others?
Now I'm trusting you for total healing. Refresh me.
This whole experience has made me more.... cautious.
I see better and my love is sound.
Now, I know it is almost impossible for anyone to see this, and not define me by this nonsense.
How does anyone push through this chaos and see the ideal?
God! I need you.

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