Olúwafèyíṣarámi

Can it just be me? Can this smile break free without tears? Can this sunshine just last a moment on me? Breaking free from the known All traditions giving way painfully Cutting me in places I never thought possible. Slicing me and tearing me to bits without remorse Bruises, blood and a reminder of how cold death could be. Deep, I know. but it is just how I felt being ripped apart. My screams still resonating in my ears... Yet, I'm alive. I breathe....or at least try and keep trying. This is a new phase So I have been told And with it all my emotions break free I am raw I am overwhelmed I am lost I feel things anew, even things never thought possible. All that I had cried about, starts to ease But my mind just fails to understand the change Things that normally would have just been, now I am questioning Things that should make my smile burst, I am afraid to embrace I am so lost in the many years of lack that I do not remember how to embrace this much Or...

Same season Rains and drought. How can that be? Our hearts see the joys and await the birth... Two women, or are they three? 2 sides of one coin.... 2 different experiences, One life. One the one hand, Support through the uneasy times Even some help carry the burden And some bear most of the pain Just so the worst times Are never experienced alone. You were never  alone Love surrounds you... But today, you bear it all The day is here and the weight bears down Alone with the masked ones but not at heart, Giving shots to shield from the pains Even the prodding and the needles were seen, not felt Just before your eyes closed in sleep.. The tearing and the pulling The scraping and the cutting Through every layer and sewn all back together Each hand works efficiently, Each one does his job To birth this breach, And bring to the earth this newness ... And then it is over, and the cries ring loud Surrounded by blood. Lots of blood But within the blood is l...

Those times you feel dead And everything around has little meaning All meanings that had been found has vanished With the new demands placed on my life. I thought this was a new phase Is this part of being reborn? Why did this have to sour up my joy? I'm confused. What's going on? Why now....at this time of so much celebration? He has taken it all Every sense of pride Everything that is me to boast in And what's left? All I have is trust I may not understand it, but I trust That I'm in his hands and the best he yet shall do... Still, my heart questions everything My being shuts down Cold from inside out, I feel numb all over from the hurts And the lingering memory of pain... I feel love yet it's as far away as a dream I dream yet it is full of questions and unfilled gaps I cry yet it is not enuf to wash me clean from it all But somehow, I hope. Oh, I hope....hope for tomorrow. But for today, I just want to be held I want to feel, howeve...

This round world turning around its axis This turn table of life.... Oh, it turns, these cycles... It plays half and half in different directions. In one half is me doing all the dishing out In the other is me at the receiving end. What one gives, one must be near damn ready to take. Yes. What goes around does come around. Basic. Simple. Truth. But am I  ready to be tested with the same I tested another with? Forget that you were just a tool the father used to chastise his son You were a tool cos you can play that role Or why must you be that tool? So you also must learn from your role Yet, suffer the consequences of being the tool. Basic. Simple. Truth. Who was the first to cast the stone? Have you learnt? The table will turn, definitely. .. What would you do if someone throws the stone at you? You gloat over the fact that your friend's girlfriend loves you more... When the table turns and your wife seems to love your best friend more, What would you do t...

The New Year is here Bringing with it blessed January, the month of my birth. I did think I was reborn in December, didn’t I? I could feel it in my stride, in my breath and even in my dance. Yes, I can still feel it And on the 22 nd , there was my cue. It was declared true. I am reborn. I am the son. Far more than I could have asked for,  In one day… He would do what only he can do. That’s how we have always rolled, he and I. Now, it is time…. I am born anew! Celebrate with me!! It is a new day!!! It’s a new cycle!!!! Out of the bushels, Now the watchtower. Lifted high, too bright to hide. The Cheerleader.... Regenerative .  She is the one. The womb of relevance is born. No apologies. Leave them wondering…  mouths agape, Holding on to history Trying to make some sense of it, But as I have been told, Trash belongs to LAWMA. You lifted the veil Enough to have a glimpse of the most holy, My home. Oh, how I embrace...

I woke up late December Sometime around Christmas. And all we wanted to do was give the house a face lift. We did that all through the day Oh my! and wasn't I impressed with the outcome?!! I beamed up at the work we had poured ourselves into all day. Though my body ached with fatigue, Suddenly, a new wind blew in and everything took a new turn. Just like that and there was a new spring to my stride In a blink, and I have this new leap in my spirit. I dance. Oh, call me crazy but dance I will. Oh I dance. That’s how it all began And then I had to return to crazy Lagos… In Lagos traffic, terribly tired from the day’s work, I embark on the journey home Yet my smile did not dim, oh, not one bit! New songs overflow, while in traffic and on top of the crazy noise. New beat rang in my ears and instrumentals filled my soul And songs of praise and newness never seen flowed out There I knew I must be tapping from a different frequency… So, I bask...

Lord let us be as you are As we lift our hands to you Let each life that comes to you Be cut to size at the quarry Stone shaped without human hands Make me a living stone  Tried and precious to you Fit as a son That I also may build with you Every Stone for one body Christ's body be built. Light be! So, Let my soul be Your word you have spoken I have heard Yes, I have seen My hands have handled My life has experienced I write I sing Now, I speak I declare! I am.