Olúwafèyíṣarámi

Becoming Never is by default It takes intricate learnings Lots of ice breaking And pushing in the face of hurdles Even more,  swimming against the tide. To be a leader,  first be the servant of all.... To be a wife, first find the beauty of being a female. To be a husband, first be a male. To be a father,  first be the Son. To be a teacher,  Submit to being the learner. Like a wave ... The deeper,  the higher... The dirtier the gold, the greater the refining process...and the purer the outcome. It all works together. Nothing lost. Becoming... An emerging path, Terra Incognita, The first to step in it will christen it. And create a culture therein. One step at a time. I want this. Yes. But I know it's not what I do. It is who I am that counts for what I do will flow from who I am. He deserves the best of the flock. It's not about me... I must remember always that it is about him... Giving him pleasure.. Learn to be as he is Le...

It is okay to take the back seat And allow the other draw the lines. I'll pretend like I know nothing But make do with all that you open up Yet a part of me wishes That you would drop your high and mighty ego And see what I see.... But how can you see beyond your pain? I dont know what you want to build with offences? I have seen the failed friendship. Even brotherhood has failed. What then is left? Though love is true, I refuse to give vinegar for your cross Though my heart breaks for you I know this path is a must If the tomorrow I've seen is true. I trust it to see you through this phase. I trust it to bring you home. I believe in you. If you are the one,  as everything has pointed so far, I trust that all you have gone through will carry you through this kairos. Become!

Its dark in here but the switches have no knobs when there were no words, counsel flowed in streams. Now the words are here and the counsellors have gone to sleep. Awake Sir. Rise up and hear me. Knock knock!! Pardon my time wasting... I have it now. How long do I have to wait? How do I submit without running through my supervisor? How will the internal supervisor ever defend my choices before the panel? It is the same. One step at a time. I guess at the point of submission, the release to speak will come And the ears to hear too. In the mean time, let me keep sharpening these hidden words.

Words, where are you?  Hear me my heart, Be still and trust that he is God. That he has a plan for the very best. Again, I have to watch,  bleed silently and let go. Peradventure, you will be the Neo who'd return. To liberate my doubts. Or just one of the Smiths Who always seem to have a backup plan.  Bleed. How much more? In teary silence Unspoken responses I watch as time folds Weighted words long awaited Finds no medium of conveyance. I'm pregnant with words. But no one to take the birth. Time has played a fast one.  So I sit and bleed away... Else, walk on and never stop.

You speak And I'm expected to listen Oh, wonderful orator! You speak And I'm  expected to trust (that what is said is absolute), I am expected not to process the thought Let alone, disagree. But I dare to speak And just as suddenly, We speak different tongues, And cry for interpreters to come to our aid. I slowly speak, Yet my words reach you on a different frequency What possibly will you have me say? Either I dance to your tune Or else, I'm toying with your destiny? You speak, Or is it possible I am the one not hearing rightly? How did we get here? When did translators become a norm? Lord knows I'm not over this. But this is where we are... This is the colour of our friendship Or whatever 'this' is This is what we have become. I watch on as this drama unfolds.

Wish I could say what really is going in Wish I could tell you That I've had no release to reply Wish I could tell u just how I feel inside Wish you could see that I am a mess. And would rather say a million things While saying nothing. ... For either way, I doubt it makes a difference. All that is required is an answer I don't readily have. I wish I did though.... For I'm gonna miss you. I wish I could break protocol And give you the first kiss To send you forth and bring you back home. But I guess he has some other plans. It has to be your choice. So I take the back seat I'm choosing to wait Not even this can ruin it for me. For I have lived my whole life That the Father may be pleased. I won't trade that future for anything. I'll trust even in tears. I'll hope even against hope. Irrespective of the outcome.

At the crossroad, A yes or no would do... But it just has to be difficult for me, You just had to be silent over this matter. I have cried many times To the Lord who knows all And is all.... And yet,he stays mute. What do I do that I haven't done? I've got my fears....but they aren't excuses They are just reasons that have drawn the borders of our relationship My haven is cracking And I'm scared, Yet my heart's opened up to bigger possibilities And Lord knows I hate what it's doing to you too. But I'm helpless here,clueless even. But why Lord are you still? I'm bowed. I have no words... I miss my 'friend' As I have for the many years we have been. Yet wait I must. Not wound an already hurting heart. If ever I wanted to play games, In the wide open field, I could have...but that me is dead Along with the season. I have nothing in me that can do that. Remember many seasons ago, You all played this game but me. I w...