Olúwafèyíṣarámi

Excited about getting trained outside the office premises I hopped home. And then a message. A declaration of your feelings.  My trainer. Hidden behind your accent and glasses A father, 3 times over Devoted. Doing all to give the best standard of living to his family... Pouring himself into new innovative ideas... A hard lover. Possesively sweet. You allowed me strip you with my questions  And let me into your world. And one glimpse and I'm hooked. I see in you, me. More than I care to admit. A me that I ran away from. One possibility of who I could become. You allowed me feel your pain and struggles Yet you refused to believe that there was more. You failed to trust that there could be a way beyond your way  You refused a glimpse into my world.  A proposal. A call A mistress? Your woman?  Or a friend who will be true Even through the different phases of life. The cards are on the table. Mere words won't do...

A family friend from childhood A friendship that was forged at youth camp And since then,managed to stay in touch. And then comes the twist Out of the blue, a proposal. A 2 weeks friends with benefit spree A time to test each other's sexual prowess. My gain? New knowledge on styles and some jewelry to boot. I laugh. The die was cast. Conditions were raised and demands made. And the proposal faded as passing wind. The price for the proposal couldn't be met. The drama continues And the more was laid on the table And you backed down and made decisions to remain as you are. Counting cost, logical reasoning and a PhD in view was enough. The established is structured and seen to work While the unknown is a risk. You pitch your tent on the towers of the known Proudly looking down at the folly of treading an emerging path. The matrix has you. Firm in its paws.

It's a wonderful morning Stuck on the BRT,many thanks to traffic Irritation and agitation everywhere To get to our different destinations And you saw me. On the annoying morning queue Waiting with my ticket to board And there you were waiting familiarly Smile on your face Urging me to come on in Confused, introduction was done.... And we talked. Friendship budded. You found there was more You took the red pill And entered the ship... But along the lines, It seemed it was never for the more. It was always about the girl. You wanted to have me...without paying the price. Confusion sets in. Ego enters the equation And the friendship becomes sour All that is left is your opinion about everything And nothing about life. Life just seeped out of it all Leaving a carcass of a relationship An obsession . You seem satisfied To catch just a whig of my perfume Or to steal a glance when I walk by in the morning. Or just to hear me laugh and say a hearty good m...

You are on a journey And all the drama around you Are all pointers to this work Pay attention. .. See and learn There's always something new to learn. Each person, each uniqueness is a speaking It is speaking to me.... Drawing the patterns in my life Building structures Knowing the colours The tools needed for construction The required skills The drama is a means to prepare me For the work to come I have to see I have to learn I have to live To be. To handle.  To use. To couple. To give.

Humbled. Tired. Woke up to the same damn words, The same tune that has been on for years. The same old thing. Making it all about here and now. Never striving for a bigger picture. And with all that is in me, I reject that spirit of old. I scream,  NO MORE! Unlike last year With the spring in my feet I feel a sobberness descend A firmness and solidness A no-nonesense stance. That screams NO MORE!! I am humbled. Grateful, more so. But today, I climb on all things old And use them as a stairway for the new. No holds. No ties. I break from the subtlety of settling for less. I scream no more!!! It is either his way or his way. A new work has started. I feel it in my bones, The responsibility of it all. I'm guessing this is what a cloak feels like Damn heavy if you ask me. But assuringly significant. Defining. Giving identities. Happy Birthday to me. I have left Trash for LAWMA. I can't be stained. The cycle is complete! Cheers!

I am  not any different from you. You say I should write my story. I also cannot wait to read yours. How does a beautiful soul get mangled in so much filth? How does gold get shrouded in so much impurity? How does a prince forget his roots and eat with pigs? That is our story. Isn't it? But no matter how far gone you are.... When you catch a glimpse of the real you, No matter how unbelievable it seems, Everything is worth dropping to explore that route. The worst that will be is to be where you are right now... But what if there actually is that better? It does not have to make any logical sense. It is what it is. No you do not think you deserve it... But love, true love is far from logic. It is full of mercy; a gift. Not wage. It is what it is. I have been here before I am here now. I love hard. I always will. I love you. But the story must go on....

I lie here, missing you. Not what you think, but what I have seen you are, Not your voice, but the one within. I have seen what you are capable of becoming. Yet, I see your struggles within, beneath Your child-like but rooted ways. Wondering how far gone you are on your story I worry what you have told your kids And how your wife is taking all this. I wait. Hoping you will reach out. Wishing your broken heart was torched. With a new reason for life rather than mere living. A reason to receive love, pure. Oh fabulous soul, Wonderful yet wandering heart, Why are you afraid of hurting a head that will heal? Why are you so afraid to break it for answers? What keeps you bound from breaking free? Why do you hide? Where have you gone? What are you doing? I look for you but you seem to have vanished. Why do you run farther? Come to me, Run fast toward wisdom. Seek out the light. Let life guide you. Hear my voice, be my friend, my love. See me. Unravel me. Hold ...