if only

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I wish you could hear the screams beneath my smile
If only you see the leap in my heart when I see you.
If only you knew how I long to just release the reins
How I wish you would see that I don't always want to be strong
If you only listen, you will hear the loudness of the unspoken words
And see clearly the whirlwind beneath the calm polish.
I say these words but I guard against you with my life.
Why would I want you to see, only to be ridiculed?
Or heard only to be left over exposed?
Why would I want to show my weakness when you will not hold me up?

If you listen long enough
Or stick around with eyes focused,
You will hear, you will see.

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