Olúwafèyíṣarámi

I have never seen myself as good enough I always feel there is something lacking Something yet to be attained A part of me yet to be fixed. In spite of all that I have got I dare to ask for more But it leaves me feeling ungrateful for the plenty I already have. Yet with all of that, it was easy to be pleasant Cos I had lost my hope in many things. I believed in many lies and It was an easier route from getting hurt. Now, I dare to hope Now I dare to want more than I ever thot I could have And now, I dare to be burnt than I ever was before. It has started... I am hurting but at least I feel I feel love but it's ripping me apart Still, I am assured that This is just the beginning...

I sit in the field of an old school watching the life around me. The brownish green leaves individually moving to different music,the individual branches in turn dance to a different tune while the main trunk bows and sways to its own song.the sky is so bright and the sun shines down.everything around me looks peaceful but then I know I have to return to the chaos of my home. Who do I tell? What do I say? How much do I even know? The system that I frowned and walked away from years ago has come to haunt me. It was easy walking out then because you tell yourself that you really have nothing to lose.when serving God becomes more of a burden of rules than a convinction and indwelling of the spirit, there is a problem. For me,it was never about anyone but me and my God. He speaks continually and I try to follow. Now, there is a major problem. The same cycle again and this time, the people I love so much and call brothers and sisters are giving me reasons to re-think if they ever were ...

It is easy to point fingers and rate success by what we see with our eyes. Still it doesn’t mean that is the entirety of what it entails. let us take a look at the life of the children of Jacob. Joseph was the good child> he was the one who was sold; he didn’t sleep with his master's wife, he was good to the letter according to the record in the books. Although the blessing was given to joseph, Judah prevailed over his brothers. Judah got the inheritance.   "Winning is not for him who runs the race. It is for he who has the marking scheme (principle)"- feyi phillips   This brings me to my story. For some time now I have had every reason to look into my life closely and the one constant thing is the fact that I have never had any reason to feel that I belonged anywhere. Not at home, not in school, not within cliques; something was always just amiss. And I was always at that point where I wondered at how strange I was right before the tide changes course. I wond...

finally, we have made up. finally, my voice reached you. i may be a lot of things but i am glad you have been able to see beyond all that my facade may seem real to most but to you those tiny things i show are just my way of making you see my weaknesses,vulnerability and imperfections which from afar, you never will see. thank you for opening your heart you are indeed my friend. thanks for believing in me. i believe in all that you could be and i believe in all that we would be. i do love you, kay.

it is so damn hard trying it is even harder expressing. my love to you my friend in my heart is invaluable,of inestimable value but to you, the love is greener on the other side is that why you think you do not mean as much to me? i reveal my heart and soul to you but you would rather settle for the body. you forget that he who has the heart, has it all. my love to you my friend is a choice beyond choice i believe in you and choose to make the most of this Eden so it hurts so much after doing so much to be asked 'what did you do?' i shake my fist in rage at you for from my haven i reached out to take only you with me and couldn't be bothered if it wasn't as safe. i care what you think always and though i do not want us to fight,just being your friend excites me so much so that i feel again like a kid not afraid to leap, fall or cry. my love to you my friend is unique, uncommon yet you probably will never know because my way of expressing is not ...

today i saw a butterfly. and i remember the good old days, the few overwhelmingly happy times i remember.me and my cousins,every holiday will camp at our grandparents and will take long walks during the evenings.we run into the large field just across the road and run in search of butterflies and ladybugs. each butterfly had its own unique beauty.none was exactly the same as the other and neither was any of the bugs exactly the same as the other. it was always wonderful to breathe in the field and feel the last bit of the sun before it sets in.and then, it hit me that i didn't enjoy these moments more even though i cherish and relish them so much. i cannot count my happy moments without the moments spent with you. forgiveness is the power you hold in your hands to move beyond the past into the future; it gives the strength to wholesomeness. this note is to my friend who means so much to me but always thinks that i think that all is a game to me and that the ball is in someone...

I just learnt today one great thing. I am not perfect and even though this is not a new revelation of myself, I realize that I still think within me to prove myself by being the best of me to people and hoping not to mess up at all. But guess what? these imperfections make us who we are, give us our flavours, make us stronger by revealing these flaws to us. I may have offended my friend or messed up big time but the truth is only a perfect person is entitled to a perfect friendship or anything perfect for that matter. I am the most imperfect person you can get but that doesn't mean I am less true or give myself less to the friendship.I have been true.I am true. And so is all that is me.if I can choose from my deep recesses to accept you and make you my friend, even with all your imperfections, then I will not expect anything less of you. We strive to get better and though I hope for a better you, how better to know ourselves if we do not go through these processes? We go through p...