Olúwafèyíṣarámi

Where do i turn? To whom do I cry? To those who want to hear me and be there for me? Or do I just trust this phase? I'm scared it will leave me a certain way.... And I don't want to snap. I want to be able to open my heart.... Thats my cry. I've opened something in me again Something I thought had died. I'm scared of it But I'm embracing it. You asked that I did. And I am. This new terrain I'm learning anew Still it looks like every step towards it Is many steps away from reaching it. So it's hurting me all over again. Breaking my heart to tiny bits. . Only now it's easier and shorter to shutdown. Easier from having being stripped like that too many times. Wish I could talk to you about it Wish I could be less guarded than you. Wish I could be myself and fling myself in trust Wish I could make my decision known now. Wish you could hold me and tell me you understand Wish you could see me without taking offence Wish u could s...

The same old dragon Showing it's face at every new phase Yes, the form may be different But it's the same....same lies. A hug... Mere, but how could I not have seen it? But is it really the hug? No. It is me. There's something inside of me That cries to belong, A yearning that changes form and character But ever present to rear its ugly head. It is not about you. It never has been. It is about me. About that thing within that I can't seem to shake off

Another has come. Just like the former. Destiny's movie. Will she say yes? Drama at play And the cast forget they are role playing We forget to live like he with no wife To buy something as though not ours to have To live a life of continuous fasting. A question to be answered A burden in my chest Too long, this axe in water I rip it out,this heart. And just mere wood will call forth the axe-head. Just like before, I let go of it And freedom comes to stay Far above..much more. .. Peace.

And here I am once again, My heart breaking in pieces My song shattering to bits Just because I really dared to feel I dared to be tired And my strength wavered. Mouths may run with ideas and diagnosis I brought his on myself. For a moment, I forgot I have no wisdom for this new place... This truly was inevitable. Now I have to unbuild it all And allow this shattering again. Just so you, you and you and even me can be saved from this unending drama. Lest all our previous work be in vain. Broken I may be But ready to go that mile Nothing short of life. I don't expect my heart to understand Or to love me back for this I don't even care if any of you see That it was all for the best. This drama must end here. I have no strength to go through it again. I have no words to say I'm sorry Yet I  hope the message reaches you loud and clear I am all sold out....the tentacles of my emotions raging, Yet for this cause, The foundation must be firm That ...

Hello February, The one I love but never knew. My sister, my love. Caught your message in the wind I smile. Same story, different perspectives. You were the beautiful rose of liberation My first step into the journey to truth. Truth eventually became the goal,not the steps to it. I learnt to live again. Hard it may be for you to understand But on the journey of discoveries, I'm praying you find what I found. Healing. Peace. Truth. Love. Life. And the dawning would follow. Never would I want to remind you of the hurts of yesterday. Every step no matter how hard, Was taken in love. I wouldn't give u less than what I've found Cos you deserve far more. Again, our paths may cross It may not be as I think it would Nor as you envisage But if it ever does, I hope you'll be ready. It has been one hell of a heady ride. But at the end, is life as you have never seen it. The colours of perfection. Love u still.

Can it just be me? Can this smile break free without tears? Can this sunshine just last a moment on me? Breaking free from the known All traditions giving way painfully Cutting me in places I never thought possible. Slicing me and tearing me to bits without remorse Bruises, blood and a reminder of how cold death could be. Deep, I know. but it is just how I felt being ripped apart. My screams still resonating in my ears... Yet, I'm alive. I breathe....or at least try and keep trying. This is a new phase So I have been told And with it all my emotions break free I am raw I am overwhelmed I am lost I feel things anew, even things never thought possible. All that I had cried about, starts to ease But my mind just fails to understand the change Things that normally would have just been, now I am questioning Things that should make my smile burst, I am afraid to embrace I am so lost in the many years of lack that I do not remember how to embrace this much Or...

Same season Rains and drought. How can that be? Our hearts see the joys and await the birth... Two women, or are they three? 2 sides of one coin.... 2 different experiences, One life. One the one hand, Support through the uneasy times Even some help carry the burden And some bear most of the pain Just so the worst times Are never experienced alone. You were never  alone Love surrounds you... But today, you bear it all The day is here and the weight bears down Alone with the masked ones but not at heart, Giving shots to shield from the pains Even the prodding and the needles were seen, not felt Just before your eyes closed in sleep.. The tearing and the pulling The scraping and the cutting Through every layer and sewn all back together Each hand works efficiently, Each one does his job To birth this breach, And bring to the earth this newness ... And then it is over, and the cries ring loud Surrounded by blood. Lots of blood But within the blood is l...